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Forgiveness

Apr 22
Love0

Jesus’ Most Difficult Command

By Evil, Forgiveness, Hate, Jesus, Love, Persecution, Revenge No Comments

A shocking act on a dark New York highway once left a nation demanding justice, but what followed told a far deeper story about the power of love and forgiveness. In 2004, Victoria Ruvolo drove through freezing rain when a group of teenagers hurled a frozen turkey through her windshield. The impact shattered her face and nearly ended her life, leading to hours of surgery and a long, painful recovery. Yet what happened in the courtroom months later stunned far more people than the crime itself.

When the young man responsible, Ryan Cushing, stood before her, the world expected anger and vengeance. Instead, Ruvolo asked the court for leniency. She embraced her attacker, whispered forgiveness, and expressed hope for his future. Observers sat in silence, witnessing what many called a “moment of grace.” The entire scene powerfully echoed the words of Jesus: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).

Such love feels unnatural because it runs counter to how most people choose to live. We tend to love those who love us, support those who support us, and avoid or even resent those who hurt us. Though these patterns seem logical, even fair, Jesus challenged them directly. “If you love those who love you,” He insisted, “what reward do you have?” (Matt. 5:46). His words expose how self-serving expressions of love can sometimes be.

Stepping outside of what is comfortable and convenient, however, is where the greatest acts of compassion reside. Loving your enemies—those who oppose, offend, or wound you—requires something deeper than human nature or instinct allows. Only by deliberately choosing to act against our impulse can we heed our Savior’s instructions to do good to those who hate us (Luke 6:27). Doing so does not excuse wrongdoing. Yet, mature believers must refuse to let hatred determine our responses to others.

How does this play out in real life? It means extending kindness to a coworker who undermined you or showing patience toward a neighbor who treated you with contempt. Scripture repeatedly reinforces practical kindness with no strings attached. The Apostle Paul instructed, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink” (Rom. 12:20). Actions like these move love beyond the theoretical into reality.

Living with radical devotion to others does not come easy. Thankfully, God graciously embodies and empowers every principle of faith He establishes. Stated differently, the Lord faithfully and compassionately shows love to His enemies before challenging us to do the same. Need proof? He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good while also sending rain for both the righteous and unrighteous (Matt. 5:45).

Even more powerful, though, is the fact that God demonstrates His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ Jesus died for us (Rom. 5:8). Long before we sought the Lord in any way, He chose to love us. In fact, we only love Him, because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

These truths revolutionize how followers of Jeus understand godly love. When we grasp the depth of God’s grace toward us despite our failures, it changes how we see others. For the sanctified, love becomes less about evaluating worthiness and more about reflecting God’s character. Loving others well is our greatest opportunity to display the family resemblance of those who belong to Him.

Still, ideas that are easy to understand are not always simple when it comes to living. Emotions often refuse to cooperate, especially when wounds run deep. Yet, in this context, the key is increasing our commitment in order to break free from the bondage of our feelings. Prayer will be foundational to our efforts (Matt. 5:44b).The goal is overcoming evil with good, rather than vice-versa (Rom. 12:21). Like a muscle that grows stronger with exercise, we small efforts will increase our capacity to love well over time. Slowly, our hearts can change.

Ultimately, godly love proves its substance through action. It seeks good for others, even when they have done harm. It prays, forgives, and moves toward reconciliation whenever possible. Jesus summarized this calling with a challenging command to be perfect, or holy, even as our Father in heaven is perfect (Matt. 5:48). Despite our tendency to fall short, God’s desire is that we love others perfectly, even as He loves us.

Adam B. Dooley
April 22, 2026

Mar 04
Love0

What Lies Beneath

By Brokenness, Forgiveness, Grace, Repentance No Comments

Murder is a jarring word. The very thought of it creates an anxious fear within all of us. Here in the United States, there are roughly 20,000 killings each year, or 56 each day, excluding abortion and suicide. Our cultural capacity to take human life unlawfully is staggering.

Yet, despite our tendency to speak of murder in reference to others only, Jesus pulls back the curtain on the internal attitude behind such an evil action. In order to correct the common misinterpretations of the scribes and Pharisees, our Savior insists that whoever holds anger in his heart toward a brother is already guilty of spiritual homicide in the eyes of God (Matt 5:21-22). Long before we slay another with our hands, we have already put them down in our hearts due to hidden hatred.

We should be quick to acknowledge that not all anger is evil. Sin, injustice, and abuse should enrage us. Jesus Himself turned over tables in the temple because of the transgressions He witnessed there (Matt. 21:12-13). Thus, the protective directive of Scripture is that we are to be angry and sin not (Eph. 4:26). The focus of the Sermon on the Mount is different, though. Here, Jesus emphasizes a deep bitterness and malice toward other people. Our Lord is warning us about the slow burn that fuels our refusal to speak to one another, our defense of holding grudges, and our justification for unforgiveness.

Because of the swift, often irreparable consequences of our internal hate, we should abandon our pride and seek reconciliation as quickly as possible (Matt. 5:23-26). Using a legal analogy, Jesus admonishes us to make friends quickly, before entering a courtroom and standing before a judge, effectively putting our fate in someone else’s hands (Matt. 5:25). Clearly, the implication is that Christians will one day stand before God in order to give an account for our lives (2 Cor. 5:10). Better to settle our differences now rather than forcing the Lord to confront our secret disdain of others.

Whenever we hurt others, we should acknowledge the offense and make restitution when possible (Matt. 5:23-24). If someone wrongs us, we should be quick to forgive even if consequences and boundaries must remain (Eph. 4:32). Doing so frees us from the root of bitterness (Heb. 12:15) that contradicts the grace of God in our lives (1 John 3:15).

Years ago, my paternal grandmother taught me these principles through the most powerful example of forgiveness I have ever seen. My Granny Sue was short in stature, but this little woman was a fighter all her life. She overcame breast cancer 50 years ago and ran her own business out of her home. Her greatest challenge by far, however, was the pain caused by her divorce. Due to my grandfather’s unfaithfulness, their marriage ended after 23 years. My grandmother never remarried, and though she moved on, the wound remained with her.

In 2005, decades after their separation, the cancer returned in her lungs. Soon, it became obvious that she would not overcome the disease a second time. Though I only saw her and my grandfather in the same room once growing up, I called to share the news with him and to make a bold request. I invited him to come to the hospital and ask for Granny Sue’s forgiveness.

Admittedly, it shocked me when he agreed to do so. Even more amazing, however, was how my grandmother responded. When I told her he was in the hallway, she sat up in her bed, began primping her hair, and then said with a smile, “If he is here to get me back, it’s too late for that!” I stepped out in the hall so they could visit, but unashamedly I eavesdropped every word. You could hear the pain in her voice as she asked, “Was I not a good wife? Why did you leave? How could you just walk away?”

My respect for my grandfather swelled as I heard him answer, “You did nothing wrong. I was the problem. Please forgive me.” Silence filled the room, only to be broken by the sweetest, most gracious words I have ever heard. My Granny Sue leaned forward, looking my grandfather in the eye, and said, “I forgive you. I’m glad you came.” Then, they talked, laughed, and healed. It was beautiful.

That day I learned that we are never more like Jesus than when we choose to forgive others for their transgressions against us. The deeper the wound we carry the more spectacular the grace we give. Oftentimes, giving forgiveness is just as liberating as receiving forgiveness.

So, stop making excuses. Make the phone call. Prioritize the visit. Admit your grievance. Let go of the pain. And if you receive one of those calls, choose to forgive. You won’t regret it.

Adam B. Dooley
March 4, 2026

Sep 24
Love0

Erika Kirk and the Scandal of the Gospel

By Christian Living, Forgiveness, Gospel, Grace, Grief, Sin, Tragedy No Comments

Her words were just as shocking as the tragic events that took place eleven days earlier. As 70,000 people packed into State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona, and an additional 20,000 gathered in overflow venues like Desert Diamond Arena, over 100 million onlookers joined the memorial service by streaming it online while another 20 million tuned in through traditional television means. All were there to honor the remarkable life of Charlie Kirk, and a holy hush fell over the gathering when his widow, Erika Kirk stood to offer a few words.

The fact that she was able to speak at all was just as remarkable to me as whatever she intended to say. Frankly, I am not sure what I expected, but I was unprepared for what came next. “On the cross, our Savior said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they not know (sic) what they do.’ That man, that young man, I forgive him. I forgive him because it’s what Christ did. And it’s what Charlie would do.” She continued, “The answer to hate is not hate. The answer, we know from the gospel, is love. Always love. Love for our enemies. Love for those who persecute us.”

The moment was breathtaking. But may I be painfully transparent for a moment? Initially, those words were just as insulting as they were inspiring to me. I am ashamed to admit it, but in my weakness, forgiveness is the last thing I wanted to hear from Erika Kirk. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit quickly convicted me.

Forgiveness, you see, ranks near the top of the things we are most grateful to receive and near the bottom of things that we are most willing to give. Idioms like bury the hatchet and let them off the hook remind us that showing compassion is tough primarily because it seems equal to diminishing the pain others cause us. Yet, for Christians, unforgiveness is not just unbiblical, but also irrational due to the sheer magnitude of God’s grace in our lives.

The scandal of the gospel is that God the Father chose to pour His wrath upon His own Son in order to set vile sinners free (Isa. 53:10). Because all of us are like sheep that have gone astray, Jesus was smitten and afflicted by His own Father as our transgression, iniquity, and chastening fell upon Him (Isa. 53:4-6).

Granted, some sins are more offensive than others, but all sins leave us guilty and without excuse before a holy God. Thus, the just suffered for the unjust. The righteous died for the unrighteous. Christ pleaded for our forgiveness even as He purchased it on the cross. The moment you feel deserving of grace while assuming that others are not, you only prove that you do not understand grace. Erika Kirk powerfully reminded us that those who receive grace ought to be the most eager to grant it.

When Peter asked Jesus how many times we should forgive those who sin against us, he expounded his question with what he thought was a gracious suggestion. “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? (Mat. 18:21)” Though the number seems arbitrary to us, Jewish rabbis taught that believers were only required to forgive the same offense three times. By suggesting amnesty as many as seven times, Peter was more than doubling what common sense seemed to require.

Wishing to deepen our understanding of God’s mercy toward us, Jesus intentionally exaggerated, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven (Matt. 18:22).” His point was not that after 490 acts of leniency our benevolence should run out. To the contrary, our Savior’s expectation is that we forgive again and again because this is exactly how God treats us. We might be quick to retort, why would anyone repeat the same offense over and over? What kind of fool would be so ridiculous? Indeed. And yet, our continued rebellion against God follows the same predictable and absurd pattern. In order to forgive others as God has forgiven us, there can be no limit to the grace we are willing to show.

Admittedly, practical questions emerge, as we try to be faithful to Jesus’ directive in the real world. Are we obligated to forgive a person who does not want our forgiveness? Or someone who does not repent of their wrongdoing? At this point, there are no indicators that Tyler Robinson has any remorse whatsoever for his sinful transgression against Charlie Kirk. Therefore, understanding the difference between giving and receiving forgiveness is crucial here. Remember, God offers grace to multitudes that refuse to welcome it. We, too, should be willing to give what others are unwilling to receive (Matt. 6:14-15).

Aside from the theological consistency of doing so, letting go of our grievances toward others is also good for us. Apart from forgiveness, you will continually think about the offense that caused you harm, keeping you emotionally bound to the person who hurt you. Waiting for an apology that never comes is like repeatedly tearing the scab off a wound. Why should we be willing to give those who scar us so much control over our lives? When a root of bitterness takes hold of your heart, you have allowed your enemy to prevent your continued growth in the Lord (Heb. 12:14-15).

But shouldn’t there be consequences for sin? Simply put, yes. The fear of diminishing what happened to us creates reasonable longings for justice and even vindication (Amos 5:24). We must realize, however, that granting a person forgiveness is not the same as setting them free from outcomes of their actions. Employees who steal ought to lose their jobs. Students who cheat ought to fail. Those who break the law ought to go to jail. Assassins who murder innocent citizens ought to face the death penalty. Though counterintuitive, consequences can be a blessing that leads us to repentance and life change. Ultimately, we should trust the Lord to decide the repercussions others face for their sins (Rom. 12:19-21).

But what if I cannot forget what happened to me? Chances are, you won’t. Perhaps no other cliché has done more damage to our understanding of forgiveness than the notion of forgive and forget. Putting painful experiences out our minds is often impossible. Thankfully, biblical forgiveness does not require us to be gullible or naïve. Refusing to dwell on the offenses of our enemies does not mean that we should repeatedly put ourselves in harm’s way. Even when consequences must remain, we can choose not to be bound by the past wickedeness of others and even pray God’s best over their lives.

At this point, if you do not believe God is doing something remarkable in our nation, you just aren’t paying attention. I am thankful for Erika Kirk’s bold forgiveness and for the scandal of the gospel. The Lord is using a grieving widow to remind us all just how desperately we need grace.

Adam B. Dooley
September 24, 2025

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