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Grief

The Beauty of Brokenness

By Brokenness, Christian Living, Grief, Trials No Comments

It was not my best sermon.

After being away from my congregation for six weeks, the induction phase of my son’s chemotherapy ended, and we returned home from the Memphis Ronald McDonald House. Though he was now in remission, 128 consecutive weeks of treatment remained in order to prevent him from relapsing with leukemia. We were tired, emotionally spent, and fearful of what lay ahead of us.

With my pastoral duties resuming, I decided to preach through the Old Testament book of Job. What I did not anticipate, however, was the uncontrollable emotion I felt when I opened my Bible and began to speak. As an active participant in the story, the passage I read was neither theoretical nor flat. Each verse struck a different emotive cord as I shared about the inevitability of trials in a fallen world. And with every insight I explained, it seemed as though God was speaking directly to me through His Word.

That’s when the tears began to flow. At first, I was embarrassed. The vulnerability of the moment left me exposed like never before, and frankly, I did not like it. The more I tried to pull it together the less composure I seemed to have. Yet, as God carried me through the message, His strength was perfected through my weakness in an obvious way. I realized, perhaps for the first time, that God usually breaks us before He uses us.

Then, in a moment of spiritual clarity, I felt unexplainable joy. Joy because the Holy Spirit was so obviously present and active. Joy because others were benefitting from my hardship. Joy because of the manifest power of God’s Word. And joy because, unlike anything before or since, I needed the realities that I dared to proclaim. Don’t get me wrong, I never really doubted any of the doctrines in Scripture, but my son’s cancer forced me to lean on the Lord’s promises like I had not previously. When we move from merely explaining Scripture for the benefit of others to experiencing the same truth for ourselves, life change occurs.

Such is the beauty of brokenness.

Earthly pain is often God’s chosen method to help us live out the eternal truths we claim to believe (James 1:2-4). He sometimes uses unexpected affliction to add the depth of experience to the width of our knowledge (Psalm 147:3). Pastors in particular face the constant danger of being educated beyond their obedience level.

Without discipline, we will arrogantly project outward images of ourselves that contradict the inward realities of who we are. Even if unintentionally, we may prop up the professional holy man persona in an effort to meet the expectations of the people we serve. Hypocrisies like these will not only render us ineffective, but also jeopardize the health and vitality of our souls. Adversity usually represents a divine invitation toward greater authenticity. Tears, as unwelcome as they might be, are a powerful instrument to help us glory more in our Savior than ourselves (Psalm 6:8). The destination of obedience is often at the end of affliction’s road (Psalm 119:67).

So, I no longer run from the tears. And neither should you.

Today’s heartache may become a future pillow with which you can comfort others who are hurting (2 Cor. 1:3-4). In His goodness, God is thoroughly more strategic with our trials than we are, often allowing His children to share with others the strength and consolation they received directly from Him. One reason every believer needs to live in Christian community is the collaborative strength we find through the shared experiences of the body (Heb. 10:23-25).

God’s preachers are not immune from the burdens this requires or the blessings it produces. The Lord instructs us to love one another (Rom. 13:8), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), be kind to one another (Eph. 4:32), comfort one another (1 Thess. 4:18), pray for one another (James 5:16), teach and admonish one another (Col. 3:16), and serve one another (1 Peter 4:10).

Additionally, every trial is a potential platform for your declaring the gospel and demonstrating genuine faith (Phil. 1:12-14). Though it seems counterintuitive, our most powerful opportunities to be witnesses for Jesus will often come when our lives are falling apart. Because unbelievers frequently dismiss Christianity as unnecessary at best or a crutch at worst, observing faithful saints who suffer well is a powerful jolt of reality that opens wayward hearts to the claims of Christ. When non-Christians encounter the sustaining faith of a weary saint, the result is powerfully inspirational.

Better still is the hope that our troubles are often doorways that lead to deeper intimacy with Christ as our faith is proven and stretched (1 Peter 1:6-9). Perhaps one of the greater pitfalls of ministry is losing our passion for Christ in exchange for our pursuit of ministerial success and recognition. Hardships often serve as a needed wakeup call to remind us that the great reward of our faith is Christ Himself. As he recounted all that he lost to pursue Jesus, the Apostle Paul joyfully boasted that it was all . . .

  • . . . for the sake of Christ (Phil. 3:7).
  • . . . that he might gain Christ (Phil. 3:8).
  • . . . to be found Him (Phil. 3:9).
  • . . . that he might know Him (Phil. 3:10).

Apart from suffering, we simply cannot learn about God or relate to Him on an intimate level.  Believing God is real and present is one thing. Trusting that He is enough no matter what you face is another matter entirely. Though we are quite capable of cognitively grasping these ideas, we cannot embrace them fully until we experience their reality for ourselves. Trials force us to move beyond superficial knowledge about Jesus into a meaningful, daily walk with Him. Much to our chagrin, the power of Christ’s resurrection is always preceded by the fellowship in His sufferings (Phil. 3:10).

No matter how God chooses to enter your pain and regardless of how many tears you shed, remember that He promises to wipe each one of them away (Rev. 21:4) and collects them in a bottle (Psa. 56:8). Against the backdrop of eternity, all trials are temporary. Isaiah prophesied of a day when “they will not hurt or destroy in all My holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea (Isaiah 11:9).”

No wonder “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Rom. 8:18).”  The Lord has the final say about all our adversities. When we worship through our deepest valleys our present struggles wilt under the magnificent shadow of the future.

Behind every tear that falls and every heartache we carry, God is actively working all things together for good for those who know Him and love Him (Rom. 8:28). Even on our darkest days, we can trust that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5-6). Though life is sometimes too short to heal all our hurts, the hindsight of eternity will make all things clear. Ironically, trials that make us doubt God’s purposes on this earth will lead us to praise His plans in heaven. Tears have a way of keeping our hope anchored to a world to which we’ve never been.

Maybe that sermon wasn’t so bad after all.

Adam B. Dooley
January 7, 2026

Erika Kirk and the Scandal of the Gospel

By Christian Living, Forgiveness, Gospel, Grace, Grief, Sin, Tragedy No Comments

Her words were just as shocking as the tragic events that took place eleven days earlier. As 70,000 people packed into State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona, and an additional 20,000 gathered in overflow venues like Desert Diamond Arena, over 100 million onlookers joined the memorial service by streaming it online while another 20 million tuned in through traditional television means. All were there to honor the remarkable life of Charlie Kirk, and a holy hush fell over the gathering when his widow, Erika Kirk stood to offer a few words.

The fact that she was able to speak at all was just as remarkable to me as whatever she intended to say. Frankly, I am not sure what I expected, but I was unprepared for what came next. “On the cross, our Savior said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they not know (sic) what they do.’ That man, that young man, I forgive him. I forgive him because it’s what Christ did. And it’s what Charlie would do.” She continued, “The answer to hate is not hate. The answer, we know from the gospel, is love. Always love. Love for our enemies. Love for those who persecute us.”

The moment was breathtaking. But may I be painfully transparent for a moment? Initially, those words were just as insulting as they were inspiring to me. I am ashamed to admit it, but in my weakness, forgiveness is the last thing I wanted to hear from Erika Kirk. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit quickly convicted me.

Forgiveness, you see, ranks near the top of the things we are most grateful to receive and near the bottom of things that we are most willing to give. Idioms like bury the hatchet and let them off the hook remind us that showing compassion is tough primarily because it seems equal to diminishing the pain others cause us. Yet, for Christians, unforgiveness is not just unbiblical, but also irrational due to the sheer magnitude of God’s grace in our lives.

The scandal of the gospel is that God the Father chose to pour His wrath upon His own Son in order to set vile sinners free (Isa. 53:10). Because all of us are like sheep that have gone astray, Jesus was smitten and afflicted by His own Father as our transgression, iniquity, and chastening fell upon Him (Isa. 53:4-6).

Granted, some sins are more offensive than others, but all sins leave us guilty and without excuse before a holy God. Thus, the just suffered for the unjust. The righteous died for the unrighteous. Christ pleaded for our forgiveness even as He purchased it on the cross. The moment you feel deserving of grace while assuming that others are not, you only prove that you do not understand grace. Erika Kirk powerfully reminded us that those who receive grace ought to be the most eager to grant it.

When Peter asked Jesus how many times we should forgive those who sin against us, he expounded his question with what he thought was a gracious suggestion. “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? (Mat. 18:21)” Though the number seems arbitrary to us, Jewish rabbis taught that believers were only required to forgive the same offense three times. By suggesting amnesty as many as seven times, Peter was more than doubling what common sense seemed to require.

Wishing to deepen our understanding of God’s mercy toward us, Jesus intentionally exaggerated, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven (Matt. 18:22).” His point was not that after 490 acts of leniency our benevolence should run out. To the contrary, our Savior’s expectation is that we forgive again and again because this is exactly how God treats us. We might be quick to retort, why would anyone repeat the same offense over and over? What kind of fool would be so ridiculous? Indeed. And yet, our continued rebellion against God follows the same predictable and absurd pattern. In order to forgive others as God has forgiven us, there can be no limit to the grace we are willing to show.

Admittedly, practical questions emerge, as we try to be faithful to Jesus’ directive in the real world. Are we obligated to forgive a person who does not want our forgiveness? Or someone who does not repent of their wrongdoing? At this point, there are no indicators that Tyler Robinson has any remorse whatsoever for his sinful transgression against Charlie Kirk. Therefore, understanding the difference between giving and receiving forgiveness is crucial here. Remember, God offers grace to multitudes that refuse to welcome it. We, too, should be willing to give what others are unwilling to receive (Matt. 6:14-15).

Aside from the theological consistency of doing so, letting go of our grievances toward others is also good for us. Apart from forgiveness, you will continually think about the offense that caused you harm, keeping you emotionally bound to the person who hurt you. Waiting for an apology that never comes is like repeatedly tearing the scab off a wound. Why should we be willing to give those who scar us so much control over our lives? When a root of bitterness takes hold of your heart, you have allowed your enemy to prevent your continued growth in the Lord (Heb. 12:14-15).

But shouldn’t there be consequences for sin? Simply put, yes. The fear of diminishing what happened to us creates reasonable longings for justice and even vindication (Amos 5:24). We must realize, however, that granting a person forgiveness is not the same as setting them free from outcomes of their actions. Employees who steal ought to lose their jobs. Students who cheat ought to fail. Those who break the law ought to go to jail. Assassins who murder innocent citizens ought to face the death penalty. Though counterintuitive, consequences can be a blessing that leads us to repentance and life change. Ultimately, we should trust the Lord to decide the repercussions others face for their sins (Rom. 12:19-21).

But what if I cannot forget what happened to me? Chances are, you won’t. Perhaps no other cliché has done more damage to our understanding of forgiveness than the notion of forgive and forget. Putting painful experiences out our minds is often impossible. Thankfully, biblical forgiveness does not require us to be gullible or naïve. Refusing to dwell on the offenses of our enemies does not mean that we should repeatedly put ourselves in harm’s way. Even when consequences must remain, we can choose not to be bound by the past wickedeness of others and even pray God’s best over their lives.

At this point, if you do not believe God is doing something remarkable in our nation, you just aren’t paying attention. I am thankful for Erika Kirk’s bold forgiveness and for the scandal of the gospel. The Lord is using a grieving widow to remind us all just how desperately we need grace.

Adam B. Dooley
September 24, 2025

The Hidden Blessing Behind Life’s Pain

By Anxiety, Christian Living, Comfort, Grief, Trials 2 Comments

If you live outside of Jackson, Tennessee, you are likely unfamiliar with the name Ann Marie Kelley. Those of us who call this community home, however, recognize her as a bit of a local hero. Diagnosed with stage 4 non-Hodgkins lymphoma in 2021, her initial prognosis was bleak. Yet, with the innovation and progress of modern medicine as His means, God supernaturally healed Ann Marie’s body of all cancer, giving her a new lease on life.

In the years following those dark days, Ann Marie has worked tirelessly to bless others who face the devastation of similar diagnoses. She decided to deliver smoothies to chemotherapy patients monthly, realizing how difficult it is to eat while enduring these treatments. Next, she organized daily transportation for patients unable to drive themselves to and from doctor appointments.

Then, three years ago, Ann Marie created Swinging for Hope, an annual golf tournament which raises money for the Kirkland Cancer Center. Remarkably, in just 36 months, fundraising efforts have grown rapidly, surpassing the $500,000 mark. At their core, these initiatives are a living testimony that God comforts us so that we may, in turn, comfort others with the strength He gives (2 Cor. 1:3-4). With her Christian faith as the anchor of her life, Ann Marie is seeking to be a conduit of God’s blessings. Because she received so much from the Lord, she is eager to give just as much to others.

And rightly so.

Within the providence and provision of the Lord, our worst trials and burdens often become the pathway to our greatest impact and blessings. The same problems which initially cause us to doubt God’s goodness unexpectedly turn into the platforms from which we declare God’s glory. The notion that our Savior’s breaking us precedes His using us appears over and over again in Scripture.

Joseph suffered unjustly in a prison for over a decade before God raised him up to feed all of Egypt during a time of famine (Gen. 37-50). Prior to leading Israel out of Egypt, the great leader Moses spent 40 years in exile due to his recklessness (Ex. 2:15-25). The glory of King David came only after he spent around seven years hiding from his predecessor (see 1 Samuel). Paul served as the mighty apostle to the Gentiles, but only while living with a continual thorn in the flesh (2 Cor. 12:7-10). Most important of all, the glory of Jesus’ resurrection required the agony of His cross and the hopelessness of His grave beforehand (Mark 15:22-47).

In all of these instances, the resulting fruit and benefit for others came from walking with the Lord, not away from Him, during the darkest of circumstances. Doing so allows us to embrace the opportunity of sharing the divine comfort we receive with those around us. While the purposes behind our pain are many, most of which remain hidden outside the perspective of eternity, one source of sanity through hardship is knowing that a greater good can emerge (Rom. 8:28).

All around us are people who realized that what the enemy meant for evil, God orchestrated for good (Gen. 50:20). Consider Lisa Reasons, who leads the new adoption agency of Birth Choice ministry here in Jackson. Behind her education and effectiveness, it is easy to miss the tremendous burdens she has overcome. As an infant she lay with little attention or affection for the first year of her life in an orphanage. Even after being adopted through the foster system, Lisa frequently struggled to connect with others due to her previous lack of attachment as a child. When her adoptive father died during her teenage years, she had to wrestle with being alone all over again.

Little did Lisa know that these painful years were the preparation she needed to adopt her son, Clay, who faced similar struggles. Likewise, her unique compassion for hurting families, born out of personal struggles, has uniquely equipped Lisa to lead an adoption agency. Truly, the complexities of her past served as the doorway to her future.

Across town, at The Dream Center, a ministry designed to serve women in crisis, Director Gail Gustafson traveled a similar path. After growing up in an abusive home, her life was sidetracked by addiction. It took 35 years before Christ changed her life, but the grace of God ultimately overtook her. Today, Gail sees herself in the women she serves and feels called to help them find freedom in Jesus Christ. Understanding the heartache hurting women face is the key to her effectiveness as a faith leader.

Isn’t all this just like our great God?

In our moments of greatest despair, God is preparing eternal glory for us that far exceeds our present struggles (2 Cor. 4:17-18). We face constant affliction, bewilderment, and even persecution, yet without despair or destruction in order to put the power of our Savior on display (2 Cor. 4:7-10). And, as God pours into us, we have incredible opportunities to pour into others. Our deepest valleys have a way of elevating us to new heights of service and significance.

Let’s remember, especially on our worst days, that God has a plan for each of us. As He works in us, He is likely preparing to work through us. Some trials are simply too painful to waste. So, when the dawn breaks, be ready to share the spoils of your struggle with others. Let’s encourage and build one another up, knowing that heartaches do not have the final say (1 Thess. 5:9-11). Drawing from the well of our past victories, let’s do what is good and helpful for others, especially those in the family of faith (Gal. 6:10).

Adam B. Dooley
September 10, 2025

Why Did Jesus Tell Us to Mourn?

By Christian Living, Comfort, Grief, Mourning, Repentance, Sin No Comments

Though making an annual trip to St. Jude Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee admittedly causes a certain amount of anxiety, there is no greater feeling than hearing that my son remains cancer free after a decade since being treated for leukemia. We praise the Lord each year after learning that his scans are clear, just as we did all those years ago when we first heard the word remission.

This trip felt different though, because of our visit with a beautiful little girl from our city who is just beginning the same journey we traveled back then. Her parents were strong and optimistic, but their tired eyes told on them. When we walked into that little hospital room, I immediately felt the same fears and anxieties that plagued me on the day cancer rocked our world for the first time.

I still remember the musky smell of the room. Cartoon characters decorated wood paneled walls and bundles of children’s books were on both sides of our chairs as we waited. When the doctor walked in, her facial expression communicated great concern. Bracing for the worst, I knew deep down that whatever came next would not be good. “I wish I had better news,” said the doctor, “but I believe your son has leukemia.”

As we talked with this family about navigating three years of chemotherapy, I realized that the backdrop of my son’s joyful news from earlier was coming to grips with the painful reality from his toddler years. Or, you could say that we had to receive the BAD NEWS of his diagnosis in order to receive and appreciate the GOOD NEWS of his health now. Ignoring his condition was never an option. Our soaring joyfulness today is proportional to the depth of our trepidation then.

Ironically, Jesus echoed the same pattern about our spiritual condition. The Bible teaches that the gospel of Jesus Christ is good news for any who will call upon the name of the Lord to be saved (Rom. 10:13). Welcoming the gift of His grace, however, requires admitting that our sin falls short of God’s expectation for our lives (Rom. 3:23). Denying our wickedness is equal to rejecting the divine cure.

The subject of sin is almost always controversial because ours is an age that resists any notions of absolute truth, much less concepts of right and wrong. Because much of our world mocks and dismisses scriptural norms, labeling Christian morality as hate speech is a common ad hominem tactic used to avoid biblical assertions. Added to these external factors is our internal struggle to frame calls to repentance as an affront to personal autonomy. Simply put, we don’t want to talk about sin, even to the point of resenting any brave soul willing to do so.

Even worse for some, is the idea that we should feel guilt or shame over any of our lifestyle choices. One weakness of the American Church is our eagerness to falsely associate jovial, lightheartedness with Christianity itself. We want greeting card theology, picture perfect smiles, unlimited optimism, and painless sacrifice. Prizing carefree thoughtlessness is our best effort to avoid guilt trips and low self-esteem. Sadly, the result is often a watered-down gospel that minimizes wickedness while celebrating superficial expressions of faith.

Jesus taught just the opposite. Blessed are those who mourn, He said, for they shall be comforted (Matt. 5:4). These words are not a call to grim cheerlessness. Neither are they intended to reassure us regarding life’s burdens and trials. Though there is much in our lives to grieve over, the focus here is not the hardships we necessarily endure. Instead, Jesus is teaching us exactly how to respond when we stray from Him.

The prophetic words of the psalmist serve as the background of this Beatitude (See Psalm 61:1-3). There, Judah mourned over their exile to Babylon, which was the severe consequence for their waywardness. Seeking to make the same application for believers today, Jesus is challenging us to lament, weep, and mourn due to the weight of our transgressions. We should mourn that our sins offend our holy God. We should mourn that we are so easily enticed by temptation. And we should mourn over the sins that blind and enslave the people we love.

Such a message is rarely popular, but according to Jesus, it is a blessing that leads to comfort. Learning to grieve over what causes grief is the first step toward healing and restoration (James 4:9). In fact, God promises to . .  .

  • Comfort us with the relief of His forgiveness (1 John 1:9).
  • Comfort us with the joy of our salvation (Psalm 51:12).
  • Comfort us with the freedom of His presence (2 Cor. 3:17).
  • Comfort us with a hope for our future (Jer. 29:11).

In addition to these present realities, God promises the eternal comfort of His people in the place called heaven. He assures us of a future home where righteousness dwells (2 Peter 3:13), where He wipes all tears from our eyes (Rev. 21:4), and where death is swallowed up for all time (Isa. 25:8-9). In other words, weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning (Psa. 30:5).

None of us enjoy sorrow, and it is always difficult to admit when we are wrong. Yet, when we understand lament as an opportunity, our lives change for the better. The Apostle Paul explained, “I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us (2 Cor. 7:9).”

No wonder Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Adam B. Dooley
January 16, 2024